W.S. Smith: April 2014 Writing Challenge Winner

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April’s Fool

After seeing this month’s challenge, I became very excited for I have been party to the most amazing and dramatic April Fool’s Day prank ever.

Heckle, my police officer partner, and I had planned this prank for a very long time. Our Chief at the time was an iron-jawed old veteran of a large city police department. He loved to prank people more than anyone I had ever met.

At the time, every officer was issued a pager that allowed a canned message to be sent to it. In the Chief’s office was a keyboard with a digital video screen. The process was simple: scroll to the name of your recipient, type your message, press Send. I would type in a message to Heckle or some other officer and instead of pressing Send, would just leave it. The Chief would come in the next morning, find my harmless message blinking gaily on the little green screen, and laugh to himself about my forgetfulness. He often bragged that he always knew what I was up to because I always forgot to hit the Send button. Heh … heh … heh …

We orchestrated our plan on March 31st. Heckle and I met at the office and I typed in a simple message:

“I’ll tell you this too, if she ever finds out it was us; me, you, and the Chief will be in federal court so fast our heads will spin.”

Fearing that he wouldn’t believe it had been done in celebration of April Fool’s Day, I then wrote: “Ha ha Chief … we got ya.” on a piece of paper and taped it securely under his desk, we then both signed it Joe and Scotty. The trap had been set.

I waited in anticipation the next day, tittering to myself and trying to fight off this strange feeling of unease when I finally received a message from the Chief.

Call me, we need to talk bud,” it said.

He was speaking rapidly and in a husky voice when I called. “You left another bleeping text on the machine Smitty, and I want you in here right now to discuss it.”

I was feeling a bit ill as I bleated, “There’s an easy explanation, Chief, there’s a full confession taped to the bottom of your desk drawer.”

“Where?” He asked.

“The bottom … ” I said, “On the bottom of your desk drawer … it’s taped.”

I heard paper rustling, and then this long hiss as he filled his lungs to capacity.

“WELL, I DON’T THINK THAT’S VERY BLANKETY-BLANK GOD-BLANKED FUNNY. YOU’RE FIRED! YOU AND HECKLE ARE BOTH FIRED. GET IN HERE AND CLEAN YOUR LOCKERS OUT TODAY!” He roared, and then hung up with a bang.

My phone slipped from limp fingers as I contemplated the prospect of unemployment. I was about to call Heckle when my pager buzzed.

It was from the Chief.

Happy April Fool’s Day!” it said.

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